Inspired by poi - movement.
A Year Off
Second semester is wrapping up…. Can’t believe how that flew by! I’ve learned & experienced so much, yet I have such a long way to go! Now seems like as good a time as any to talk about my decision.
So, I graduated from community college in 2011 with an associate’s degree in graphic design. I didn’t feel “good enough” for the “real world”, and had heard how difficult it is to get a design job without a BA. It seemed logical to continue with my education and keep the momentum going, so that’s what I did. Part of me wondered if perhaps I was moving too quickly.
When I started at Mass Art, I became overwhelmed quite rapidly. I was at school full time, working part time, and on top of all that, commuting to campus. I had several projects assigned at once, with little or no time to fully complete them. I often found myself “making things just to make them” or “doing a project just to get it done,” and it was sort of killing me inside.
I reverted back to some of my nervous, destructive habits [like pulling out my hair, although I was tempted to do worse], was even seeing a school counselor briefly [she was absolutely NO help]. Obviously I got through it, and managed to get passing grades, but I was beginning to doubt myself and everything around me. I wanted to drop out, but knew I had to give the second semester a try.
I quickly found myself right back where I started. This time, my grades were suffering. I also had to decide on a major. I dropped one class, then another. Before I knew it, I was a part time illustration student who was barely drawing.
When it came time to register for fall classes, I realized I wasn’t ready. My peers and friends were excited for the near future, while I was full of dread. Days varied from running around crazily trying to be productive, to being way too depressed and fatigued to leave my bed.
Right now, I feel the need to take myself out of the educational system, if only for a moment. I have been in school for 18 years; another perspective is necessary. There’s so much I enjoy and dislike about Mass Art. I guess I want to make my own art school. I need to be able to show myself what I’m truly capable of before I can make any more decisions regarding my future, education, or career.
So, I’m not going to say I’m dropping out, nor will I guarantee that I’ll be back. Nothing is certain at the moment. That’s okay with me. I’ve gotten both negative feedback [mostly family] and positive [friends! and surprisingly, teachers! <3].
I just wanted to put this out there for the few Mass Art students who may be following me. It’s been great making friends here and connecting with other artists. I hope that we can stay in contact over the following year. If you’re looking for an opinion, suggestion, even collaboration … I’m here!!!
Art will ALWAYS be my life, whether I’m in art school or not.
<3
